continuing crap

well, again yesterday dad asked me:"do you have any boyfriend, when mom at ur age, she's begun dating..."
hmph!! well, what kind of boy dating me?the one with sick eyes maybe. And after this week I've begun thinking, the persons that marry me is on disaster. kitchen matter is my big weakness, it's proven yesterday. I don't really like child and i'm bad at nurturing, it's what they say: "you're way too ignorant" when i keep in silent while the water in tank fully loaded and flooding the floor, sorry, i was too concentrate on my work (that is playing game.. :P)
For you, who read, not me, who feel it, this simple matter often bring me down. I don't want to say it...yea...what to say it...i just feel unconfident. It often tear my heart down, the last thing happen to me last year, although it was just a lie but really make me heart broken, i vowed NEVER had a crush again, I'm tired of having heart break or being hated. Thanks to my environment know, the people don't really care about love-matter, but my previous school makes me feel that i'm a geeky-nerdy that no boys holding crush on me. Yeah what i'm saying is crap, but that's what i felt when i was on my 17. Now it's whatever, better looking for money than boyfriend.

Well and i never said this to my parent, and they never tried to know, thats why my friends know me better than them. But i never communicate to my parents either, so it's a draw.

crap

my mom leave on her own, i wonder is it me the reason?or my dad?

this week i spent uncomfortably, i felt awkward toward my own family, i choose being myself than gathering around, and one noticeable thing is that i don't talk much, seriously, i never open any conversation, not any. Especially with my bros, i never even answer their question. Are you wondering why? well i don't know. I just DON'T want to. Strange eh
yesterday my dad asked me, if i got unfulfilled wish that makes me act so mean. Well i said none (the truth is i REALLY want an SLR camera but that is not the reason, i want to afford it MYSELF, my father should get the doctoral degree by that money next year).
I don't know either, i act normally (nicely) to my friends. Then i wondering, do i have any grudges to them? what have they done?
well after i wondering..
i often feel mismatch, heartbreak and dissapointed. I just remember some of them but the point is it's very rude to write it down, none of us perfect rite?hm! then what's the point apologizing on ied al fitr..ahh..i feel it's just a title, just a ritual, not done by heart.. (astagfirullah)...but thats what i'm thinking, because after apologizing they make another same mistake..ahhhh

well, i got a lot to write but i should do magrib prayer first...

things i learn from this ramadhan

i lived in a penthouse, it's not mine but someone ask me to live there, it was luxurious, but u can't waste much water because someone will scold at you (strange)when you do that. The most amazing thing, when you climb to the rooftop, you can see mecca on the left side while England and Chinese great wall on the right side. Also, if you're sitting at work desk you'll see great view of sea and mountain. I was so amazed but suddenly my father wake me up. "wake up, it's 9.3o!" whew!what a great dream since I've never had any lately. I wonder if it were a reality, where would it be?paradise?

if i were a mom

mulai sekarang saya bakalan ngepost setiap hal yang terlintas di benak saya kalau kelak saya jadi orang tua....

IF I WERE A PARENT, i wouldn't yelled at my child if they made small mistakes,because it's a good time for them to learn

IF I WERE A PARENT i would be my child's best friend ever

lachata

f)x), SM's new girlband, they say f(x) is girl version of shinee, theyre verry beautiful and look like a mature woman, but surprisingly, the fact its just one of them is older than me, the rest born on 90's. My friends having lachata fever, lots of their status says so..haha.whatev, i love kpop

super girl teaser

well, this is a teaser from one of my favourite subgroup of SJ..check it out, they r so cool