continuing crap

well, again yesterday dad asked me:"do you have any boyfriend, when mom at ur age, she's begun dating..."
hmph!! well, what kind of boy dating me?the one with sick eyes maybe. And after this week I've begun thinking, the persons that marry me is on disaster. kitchen matter is my big weakness, it's proven yesterday. I don't really like child and i'm bad at nurturing, it's what they say: "you're way too ignorant" when i keep in silent while the water in tank fully loaded and flooding the floor, sorry, i was too concentrate on my work (that is playing game.. :P)
For you, who read, not me, who feel it, this simple matter often bring me down. I don't want to say it...yea...what to say it...i just feel unconfident. It often tear my heart down, the last thing happen to me last year, although it was just a lie but really make me heart broken, i vowed NEVER had a crush again, I'm tired of having heart break or being hated. Thanks to my environment know, the people don't really care about love-matter, but my previous school makes me feel that i'm a geeky-nerdy that no boys holding crush on me. Yeah what i'm saying is crap, but that's what i felt when i was on my 17. Now it's whatever, better looking for money than boyfriend.

Well and i never said this to my parent, and they never tried to know, thats why my friends know me better than them. But i never communicate to my parents either, so it's a draw.